Friday, 1 June 2012

Struggling to Play Nice

One of the amazing things that has come out of my battle with PPD is an understanding that judging people is not only a waste of time, it creates a feeling of negativity in me that I neither want nor need.

The parenting choices made by others are not my business.  I am not a better mother because I am currently co-sleeping with my on his way to three year old.  I do not feel like a failure because I allowed my son to wean at 10 months . . . when he indicated that he was done with it.  I do what I right for my family and I hold true to the belief that whatever choices you make are the right ones for your family.

It goes beyond parenting as well.  Ultimately, I am working towards living my life in a positive manner and giving those around me the benefit of the doubt, believing that they are making the right decisions for their life.

What has me currently struggling to hold my tongue is the on-going political nonsense going on . . . particularly down in the United States.  

I do not understand the on-going battle surrounding marriage, defining marriage and defending marriage.  Marriage is, and has been since accounts concerning it have been written, a contract between two people.  Actually, really early accounts generally have it as a contract between a man and as many women as possible but that is not the point I am focusing on.  In the "good ol'days" that contract was generally between a father and a man as the father sold his daughter into a marriage.  It was a business transaction.  That is a traditional marriage.  

Things have soften somewhat, which given that I am a female, I am grateful for.  It became more of a partnership based on mutual feelings of love and respect, a desire to work towards a bright and happy future together.  But that partnership is still a contract and combining of assets.

Yet a portion of the population is being denied the right to enter into this transaction because others don't agree with, understand or are simply disgusted by how they live their lives and who they love.  I don't understand this . . . it honestly baffles me.

How does the marriage between two men or two women who love each other, and are willing to enter into this contract together, affect the lives of those who oppose it?!  It doesn't! However, it does have a profound affect on the couples whose rights are being denied.  

Even if you believe that being gay is a choice . . .  which by the way I don't . . . the issue of gay marriage is one in which a minority group is being denied their rights by the majority.  It is exactly the same issue as interracial marriage, segregated schools, denying women the right to vote and it is one whose time has come to an end.  

Jenn

read to be read at yeahwrite.me

22 comments:

  1. On the Daily Show once, Jon Stewart was talking about gay marriage and said "I don't understand, will marrying gay be required?.... Then why does anyone care?" Yeah. That.

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  2. You are right, my friend. I was on the fence for a long time, but now I know this argument is just silly.

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    1. Awe Jen, thanks for your support!
      Jenn

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  3. And that is why I am blessed to live in Canada.
    I have 3 gay friends. 2 of them went and married to wonderful husbands and I was able to witness the immense love they have for one another.
    Just this week, one of those couples adopted a baby girl.
    They have the same rights as any of us because they are human. Who are we to deny them love?

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    1. I agree wholeheartedly! I am very proud that our country has recognized that it is not the government's business to decide who should be able to marry.
      Jenn

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  4. For several years I've had a "no judgement" policy. Or, minimal judgement. I'm not perfect.

    Except for people who don't support basid rights - *that* I judge.

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    1. I agree, I really don't want to pass judgement but it is almost impossible when people are denying others basic rights.
      Jenn

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  5. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I often wonder, if all of the people who feel it's none of their business (rightfully) who marries who, were counted as in favor of gay marriage (which they actually are) would this debate finally die out?

    Because I am in favor of gay marriage. And I am in favor of gay couples raising children. You cannot possibly tell me that a same-sex couple could do any worse than many heterosexual couples have done at both marriage and child rearing. But the point is, I honestly feel it's not any of my business who marries who.

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing!
      Jenn

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  6. Yes, that. All that and more.
    Well said, darling!

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by!
      Jenn

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  8. Hi Jenn! Visiting from "Yeah Write". Great post!

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  9. I concur. Completely.

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  10. I'm SO proud of you for writing this! For standing up for the rights of others!
    One day our children will look back on us and think "why were they so ignorant? Why did they hate each other so much?"
    It's people like you who are speaking out for change and making a difference.

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  11. Hear! Hear! Bravo! Bravo!

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  12. Absolutely! The argument against gay marriage is just bigoted, ridiculous nonsense and I'm sick of hearing it. Thanks for writing this! :)

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  13. Well said Jenn! As someone with some great gays friends I say "love is love" and if they want to commit and celebrate their union I just cannot understand why it would not be allowed x

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  14. The shenanigans of lots of hetero-relationships makes marriage look just a tad silly. Remember that "game show" where someone proposed at the END OF TWO HOURS? Yeah, that's honoring the institution. Sheesh.

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  15. Great post and so right, its the opinions of small minded people who are too scared to face or understand the differences in other people... If two people love each other and want to get marry then so be it regardless of gender..

    Perhaps these politicians should be doing something to stop arranged marriages and woman being sold into marriage for money!

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Ah connecting is a grand thing!