Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Flight of the Musical Beds

The sleeping situation in our home is rather ridiculous.  Trust me, both the hubby without a handle and I realize it.  However, we go with it because we need sleep.

When Little Miss was born I parented differently when it came to sleep.  I rarely brought her into bed with us.  I would sit in her room night after night trying to get her back to sleep in her crib.  Around nine months or so, I was desperate for sleep and so I did some sleep training and low and behold, I could put her in her crib awake and she would fall asleep on her own and sleep through the night.

With Buddy due to arrive in a few months, we moved Little Miss to her new big girl room and into a new big girl bed.  That would be the start of crazy sleeping arrangements.  She needed us to lay down with her to fall asleep.  So we did.  Then, as I became more and more pregnant, I couldn't stand sleeping with the hubby without a handle because he made too much noise . . . what with him wanting to breath and all.  So, he would go and sleep with Little Miss. 

With daddy by her side, Little Miss slept wonderfully . . . even to the point where I had to actually wake both up so that we could get to work/daycare on time (this was unheard because up until this point, I did not need an alarm clock to make certain we were up in time for us to leave the house at 7:30 am as Little Miss was up between 4:30 and 5 am). 

Then Buddy arrived and the craziness got that much more crazy.  I was actually able to breastfeed him (no more pumping breast milk to bottle feed for over 9 months, this time the milk was delivered directly from mommy) and I found it easier to have him in bed with me.  He slept.  Month 2 he was sleeping around 4 hours, up for a feed, and then back down again.  Month 3, that all went to hell.

After that he would not sleep unless he was on someone's chest, preferably mine.  So, a couple of months went by with him sleeping on my chest and me getting very little sleep.  From that point on, Buddy has rarely slept an entire night on his own.  In fact, I can think of only 3 such occassions when he has done this.  Yeah, have I mentioned that he is 18 months old.  Ridiculous, I know.

Nowadays, our nights are a bit nutty.  Here is an example of a typical night in our household.  Buddy goes to bed around 7, Little Miss around 8:30.  Buddy has probably already needed one of us to go and calm him before Little Miss is in bed.  If I don't fall asleep with Little Miss (which happens more often than I would like) I spend an hour or so with the hubby without a handle and then we head to bed.

Once in bed, we discuss who gets which kid that night.  It often comes down to me dealing with who ever is up first.  Last night it was Little Miss.  I awoke to a little blond head standing beside my bed asking me to pull her into bed with me.  She then asked daddy to leave.  I tell her no, it is daddy's bed and he can stay there until Matthew needs him.  Perhaps an hour later, daddy is up getting Matthew and laying in his bed with him.  Cue to an hour after that, Buddy is crying off and on. So I go to relieve daddy because he must be tired.  Turns out he is in the washroom.  I take Buddy into the double bed in Little Miss's room and trade kids with daddy who then goes and sleeps with Little Miss in our room.

Have you lost track of who was where at what time and with what kid?!  Don't worry, there are nights I can't keep track of it all. 

The sleeping arrangements in our home are far from ideal and we are very aware of it.  We are also very aware of the fact that we both (currently) work full time and the kids don't get to see us all that much during the week.  So, we have decided to go with and give the kids the cuddles they need at night.  All the while, mommy and daddy need to be a bit more creative in timing our "cuddles".

So, for now this is sort of working for us.  We will revisit the whole thing if the kids still want to cuddle with us all night when they are 16!

Little Miss and Buddy in mommy and daddy's bed.


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